Broken and rebuilding
by Catswithclaws13
Summary: After the war, Katniss is broken. Peeta is broken. One month after that fateful day that ended war in Panem, Peeta returns from his treatment. Not fully recovered, but better. Katniss has been in a state of depression. Theyve both been through so much, so can they help rebuild each other? *I suck at summaries, so you know*
1. Chapter 1: Finally

**Hi! So this is my first time writing fanfic, and honestly, I'm a tiny bit nervous! This will contain some violence, but not too much! It's mainly just a Hunger Games after the war fic. I know, overdone. Of course, it is Katniss/Peeta, because they are PERFECT! Anyways, you probably didn't even read this, but if you did, you're way more patient than me! I skip these. On with the story!**

 **-Catswithclaws13**

 **DISCLAIMER: All the characters and and stuff from the books or movies is NOT MINE, everything but the plot of this fic is property of the amazing Suzanne Collins!**

I still see her in my dreams- no, nightmares. Each night, I wake, screaming and crying like a little baby. It's only been a month since my little duck left this world and the war ended. I've finally been let out to be alone. After I shot Coin, people thought I was mentally insane or something. Actually, that's what Dr Aurelius said at my trial, in my defense. In all honesty, Coin killed Prim, along with hundreds, maybe thousands, of innocent young people. So maybe, in some ways, she deserved it. It isn't the Capitol children's fault they were raised in a plastic and oblivious environment.

I'm not doing so well. I've been crying and having nightmares each time I close my eyes. I see Prim, blowing up in front of me. Rue, blood gushing out of her young, gentle body. Finnick, ripped apart my mutts. And all the others, who died, their blood on my hands. The hands that held the berries on that fateful day. If that stupid president Snow hadn't forced Panem into these games, those people would still be here.

Haymitch, surprisingly, has given up drinking. He threw out all the liquor he owned. He now keeps geese, as a type of therapy, almost. I visit him frequently, as he is, though his gruff exterior, someone I know will help and comfort me.

I haven't seen Peeta yet, though. In fact, he isn't back in District 12 yet. He has been undergoing a special treatment in the Capitol for the hallucinations. I really do need this to go well. Actually, Peeta needs it more than anyone. I never thought I would love someone like I love Peeta, but here we are. Oh my god, I just remembered that Peeta is returning today, at 9 in the night! I need to see him, my boy with the bread, my dandelion in the spring.

I go to the bathroom of my majestic house. I still refuse to call any place the Capitol built my home. The bathroom has a gigantic jacuzzi bathtub, that I fill with warm water and climb into.

I relax in my bath for about a half hour. I think about all the trauma countless people, and myself for that matter, have endured. It isn't fair. I know that makes me sound like a three year old who didn't get the toy they wanted, but it's true. I'm a 17 year old girl, I should be thinking about normal things, not a traumatic civil war. If there were no damn games in the beginning, I would have Prim, Finnick, Rue, all those people who died for something no one should die for.

I suddenly realize that it's 8:40, so I only have 20 minutes to get ready to go to the train station to welcome Peeta home. I frantically get out of the tub and walk to the vanity sink. I see that bucket of Capitol makeup my prep team has sent me, along with wax, hair styling tools, and clothes I wouldn't wear in my entire life. Ever. I quickly take my brush and comb my wet hair, and once I finish that, I fasten my dark brown hair in my signature braid. I slip on my black pants, then a bright red hoodie. I brush my teeth, then finally, I look like a somewhat sane person, not a girl who has been through more tragedy in 17 years than most will ever endure.

I walk as fast as I can to the train station. In a short three minutes, I'm there. Luckily, the train has just pulled up. Haymitch, who left a few days ago so Peeta could have someone familiar with him on the way back, steps off the steps of the train, with Peeta not far behind.

"PEETA!", I yell, not caring about the looks of those around me. I run up to the two of them.

"Hey, Sweetheart. How are you? You've been eating right?", Haymitch asks nervously after embracing me.

"Yes, Haymitch." I respond, hopefully convincing him of my lie. It doesn't work though.

"I can tell you haven't, so from now on I will be over each day to make sure you are eating. I'll let you two reconcile now." The middle aged Victor says, and with a wave of his hand, he is on the way to Victor's Village, the one spot the Capitol avoided bombing. I'm suddenly taken off guard when Peeta hugs me.

"Katniss, I've missed you so much. I don't have many memories of the end of the war, though. It's all hazy from the attempt to remove some tracker jacker venom. Could you fill me in?" Peeta asks innocently. Then before I know it, unstoppable tears are falling from my eyes, and I pull away from the hug.

"Are you okay? Did I say something?" Peeta says nervously.

"No, it's not your fault. The war is just a… Touchy subject for me. Too much trauma, you know?". Of course he knows, why did I even ask that? I'm so stupid. I've probably upset him now.

"I know what you mean. Trust me. We can help each other though. Be friends, tell the deep stuff like our favorite colors, remember?" Peeta says, reminiscing in that memory from the train during our Victory Tour.

"Of course I remember, it was a pretty funny time, really. Do you feel like going to the village now? You need to get some rest." I tell him. I'm just happy that he is feeling well, and hasn't tried to choke me yet.

We set off for Victor's Village, not talking, but holding each other's hands, knowing that in this time, in the midst of these after-war feelings, all we need is each other's support. Peeta is some of the best support I can get, even if he's not completely stable. But really, in hindsight, are any of us actually stable after this experience? We just pretend for the cameras, then break down on our own, coping in different ways.

Eventually, after walking much slower than I did on my way here, we reach the little area occupied by only three people. It's dark now, in the early September night, but everything feels…lighter, I guess. Peeta's back, so I'm happy about that, definitely. Finally, I remove my hand from Peeta's.

"I'll talk to you tomorrow, okay Peeta? Get some sleep." I say to him sleepily.

"Sure, you make sure you sleep too. I know that you're tired right now. I'll make you breakfast tomorrow, how about that? I haven't baked in ages." He tells me, clearly excited at the thought of baking again. I can't tell him no, and I want to hear how his treatment went.

"That's good with me. Come over when you're ready, the door is never locked. I'll tell you some of the details you're hazy on, and you tell me about the treatment. Sound good?" I ask him, hoping he's okay with it.

"Yeah, that's fine with me. Goodnight, Katniss." He says in his smooth voice. I missed that voice. I missed him overall.

"Goodnight, Peeta." I say to him, giving him a quick hug before parting to our separate houses. I make sure he gets into his alright first, then go into mine. Once I'm ready for bed, I climb in, snuggle into the down comforter, and brace myself for the nightmares that are sure to haunt me tonight, the only comfort being the fact that I will see Peeta tomorrow.

 **Alright, so that's the end of my first chapter! I must say, 1,393 words in one hour is probably a record for me. Please review as I would appreciate your thoughts!**

 **-Xoxo, Catswithclaws13**!


	2. Chapter 2: Remembrance

**Hi! It's me (obviously) again with the second chapter of** _ **Broken and rebuilding**_ **! If you're here right now, thank you so much for reading the first chapter and giving this fic a chance! Hope you like chapter 2!**

 **-Catswithclaws13**

 **Thanks to jtotten0158 for posting the first review! I'm glad you think it's good!**

 **DISCLAIMER: Suzanne Collins own all the rights for the Hunger Games, I am merely a fan writing my take on it!**

I wake up at 8, to an amazing smell from the kitchen. I can't identify the smell, it's something I've never smelt before, even during my time at the Capitol. Pulling on a dark green hoodie over my pajama shirt, I eagerly make my way down the stairs to the kitchen area. I enter to see Peeta, completely oblivious to fact that I just came in. He's working his magic at the stovetop, frying something. I cough, hoping to get his attention, but he is so immersed in his cooking, he doesn't even realize. I decide to speak, eventually.

"Peeta? It's me, Katniss." I say, more shyly than I usually do. He whips his blond head around quickly, registering my sudden appearance.

"Oh, good morning Katniss. I'm making a special type of pancakes. They're called crepes. I put blueberries in them." He tells me. I see something next to the frying pan, in a pot, like soup. Whatever it is, the smell of crepes mixed with that boiling substance is great.

"What's in that pot? It smells good." I ask him.

"That is a sauce-type thing to go on the crepes. It's also made of blueberries. And Katniss?" He stops suddenly, almost needing my approval to continue on.

"Yes?" I answer. I hope he is okay and didn't have a hallucination lately.

"I… Um… Planted some flowers this morning outside in the garden. Primroses, in her honor. They're not grown yet though, so if you don't want them, I can dig up the seeds. Katniss?" He says to me, noticing my shocked expression. I feel like I'm about to cry, but I'm grateful for him thinking about her.

"I think that it is a great idea to honor Prim. I miss her so much, Peeta. But if she had to die so young, the least we can do is remember her. She didn't deserve to die.". Suddenly, my face contorts into a look of rage and the tears start falling. "It should have been me. Peeta, it should have been me! Rue, Prim, Finnick, Boggs, Castor… I should have just eaten those berries." I rant on, heavy tears falling from my eyes. Peeta, who just took up his crepes, quickly stops what he's doing and hugs me with his flour-covered hands. I sob into his shoulder, for what seems like hours, before I think about my selfishness. Peeta has lost his whole family, tons of friends, and even his own full mind. He's been home one day, and all we've done is talk about my tragedies. He's had the same amount. I pull away.

"How about we try those crepes now, huh?" I say to him through a watery smile. He nods his pale head and gets two plates from the cupboards, along with utensils. He brings the platter of crepes to the dining table, and sitting next to him, I dig in.

"Wow! Peeta, these are the most amazing things I've ever tasted! Thank you so much for making these!" I tell him, forgetting about my minor meltdown.

"I'm glad you like them so much, Katniss. Do you want more?" He asks, ever so polite. How is it possible for a person to be that calm after their mind being warped? After losing their loved ones? Apparently Peeta has some secrets in this department.

"Yes, please. Also, how was your treatment? Did it go well? I swear, if they did hurt you, I will kill them." I say to him, with my tone escalating quickly.

"The treatment was really good, actually. They extracted approximately 90% of the venom through multiple surgeries and special concoctions to make it come out through urine. It was with their weird Capitol magic. Well, not magic, but you know what I mean." He tells me. I nod my head, while stuffing my face with crepes.

" Well, I'm glad that I don't need to kill anyone. I just want some peace. Will you still have… Moments? Like, um.. where you hate me?" I say in a small voice, hoping not to trigger him. He seems unfazed though, which is a good sign.

"That's the bad part. The hallucinations will not be as occurring as before, so not too many. If triggered though, it is probable it may occur. The doctors told me to tell people that if I get one while they are around, they should leave and call the new emergency services here in 12. The number is just 433." He informs me. That is useful to know, definitely.

"Thank you for telling me that, Peeta. Do you want to hear the details you're still fuzzy on from the end of the war?" I ask. I'm secretly hoping that he'll say no, because I don't know if I'm ready yet.

"Um, I would, if you're okay with it. Like who died and how? What happened with you at the end? That stuff." He says to me. I brace myself for the long recounting of the end. We head over to the deep red sofa.

"Okay, so what happened, in summary, is that we lost many people, like Finnick, Boggs, and many more members of our squad, around the end. Pretty much everyone. Me and Gale left Tigris' shop, and went into the crowds evacuating in the Capitol to the mansion. There, after the Peacekeepers took the Capitol children up front, district 13 bombed the Capitol, in the form of Capitol hovercrafts. I think most people in the area died, with rebels, Peacekeepers, Capitol children and the rebel medics. Like Prim. Then, when I was supposed to execute Snow, I shot my only arrow at Coin, who then died. I was avenging Prim and the people she killed just so she could win. Most of the bombed were children and people on her side, Peeta! And she just killed them. She was no better than Snow." I tell him. By the end of the explanation, my eyes are watery. I can see Peeta is also holding in tears. I embrace him gently.

We hug for a while, just sitting on the sofa, silently sobbing into each other's shoulders. That's when I realize just how much I really do need Peeta. We are so broken, but we can help each other cope. No one understands the trauma the Victors have all been through, well, the few of us left anyways.

We spend the rest of the day baking, meaning Peeta bakes while trying to teach me. Which is probably the hardest thing he's ever done. The only skill I have is hunting. We make cookies, muffins and even the same style bread he threw in the rain, all those years ago. Just, you know, not burned and wet from rain. As long as I have a friend like Peeta, I can have a steady life. I hope I can help him too.

 **Alright, so that's chapter 2! Sorry if the wait was too long! I've been busy. You probably don't care, but I sprained my ankle a month ago, and haven't been skating since. I went back Monday, but I also had two tests this week, so that room time! Please review! I need your thoughts!**

 **-Xoxo, Catswithclaws13**


	3. AN, PLEASE READ

**Hi guys! I'm just letting you know that it may be another month before another update, one because I have followers, but no reviews so I don't know if you are even interested, and two because there is a big synchro skating competition coming up (Winterfest) and both the teams I skate on are going, so there's a lot of practices now! And the fact that Christmas is coming up! So yeah, it could be a while before the story continues. Please review your thoughts from the first two chapters, please! I need your thoughts and ideas!**

 **-Xoxo, Catswithclaws13**


	4. Important AN

**PLEASE READ!**

 **Guys, this is another AN. I'm not doing great right now. Me and my friends are having some issues and I'm struggling with a lot of anxiety issues currently. You probably don't care, but I got first in academics last year at school, and now I'm trying to keep that up but causing myself to have, well, issues. I'm taking a break from this, I'm so sorry, but my health comes first. I'm also having trouble opening up to my friends about me being pansexual so I'm really closed off making them frustrated, but I can't figure out how to tell them. Then I stay up worrying about it, usually until 2 or so. Please let me know what you think about the first two chapters.**

 **-Catswithclaws13**


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